Thursday, February 11, 2010

nu years first post!

ok ok..i kno dis is a little late for my first post of the new year..but believe it or not i have been kinda busy lately..doin wat i have no idea...or maybe i am just a little bit lazy to write about all d stuff goin on in my devious little many thoughts but no desire to put it down..

 Im writing this post during my studies break...sumhow i always get a lot of time to think about all the important things in my life during my study hours..things like why did i do this wen i cud do it a much better way..the hours of study i can really put in a day, bcoz it is really surprising.. out of 24 hours i study just 3-4 n dat too is a big achievement according to my standards..the different permutation combinations of study hours that i can actually use never happen..mayb again coz im lazy or just too bored to push myself dat much..anyways..its back to studies now..if  i can put in 2 hours of study i will feel dat i have accomplished sumthin..

until my next study break..

c ya

Thursday, December 3, 2009

best divorce letter

Dear hubby:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.. I've
been a good woman to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last
straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut,
had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk dress.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your
games. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want anything
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you are cheating on me or you
don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Wife
P.S. don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving away to West
together! Have a great life!

Read on……………………………………….

Dear Ex-Wife
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good woman is a
far cry from what you've been. I watch my games so much because they drown
out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice
when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was
'You look just like a boy!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything
if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my
favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I
stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk dress: I turned away
from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was
a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I
hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets
to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason,
I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that
the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born as
Carla(woman).........I hope that's not a problem

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
"TANJOOBERRYMUTTS"...and be ready for China .

In order to continue getting-by in China , we need to learn English the
way it is spoken.......................

Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to
understand the term "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.

Now, here goes...
The following is a telephonic exchange between maybe you as a hotel
guest and room-service today......

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: " Rye . Roon sirbees...morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???"

Guest: "Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs."

Room Service: "Ow ulai den?"

Guest: ".....What??"

Room Service: "Ow ulai den?!?... Pryed, boyud, pochd?"

Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. Scrambled, please."

Room Service: "Ow ulai dee bayken ? Creepse?"

Guest: "Crisp will be fine."

Room Service: "Hokay. An sahn toes?"

Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "An toes. ulai sahn toes?"

Guest: "I.... Don't think so.."

RoomService: "No? Udo wan sahn toes???"

Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'udo wan
sahn toes' means."

RoomService: "Toes! Toes!...Why Uoo don wan toes? Ow bow Anglish
moppin we botter?"

Guest: "Oh, English muffin! !! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'...
Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RoomService: "We botter?"

Guest: "No, just put the botter on the side."

RoomService: "Wad?!?"

Guest: "I mean butter... Just put the butter on the side."

RoomService: "Copy?"

Guest: "Excuse me?"

RoomService: "Copy...tea..meel?"

Guest: "Yes. Coffee, please... And that's everything."

RoomService: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, creepse bayken , Anglish moppin,
we botter on sigh and copy ... Rye ??"

Guest: "Whatever you say."

RoomService: "Tanjooberrymutts."

Guest: "You're welcome"

Remember I said "By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND
'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS' ......and you do, don't you! :-) :-)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

pearls of wisdom

1.Whenever you find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

2.To Err is human, but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

3.The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

4.Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

5.In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you have ability to repay back.

6.All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

7.Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear

8.Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

9.If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

10.You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

11.Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

12. 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot.

13.As soon as you mention something?? If it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.

14.He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

15.If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? The bus is still late.

16.Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

17.When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions. Â

18.If you have paper, you don't have a pen. If you have a pen, you don't have paper. If you have both, no one calls.

19.Especially for engg. Students : If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

20.You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

21.The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

22.After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
23.If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

24.Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker

25.Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.

26.There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

27.An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

28.Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

29.Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

30.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

31.Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

32.Well done is better than well said .

33.Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

34.Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY, Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS.

35.Where there is MONEY, there are many FRIENDS and RELATIVES.

36.Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

ongc exam- before

Today i got an ongc exam coming i thought i mite just add a post about my feelings n the amount of preparation i put in...

Feelings-not feeling good bcoz i had a late breakfast, i had a sore eye when i got up which has cleared by now, had a very bad cold which is threatening to come back...and yes..about the tension at all..the reason is explained below.

Preparations-read through a really fat copy of footnotes from the start of a book for objective questions on geology(ongc questions, upsc question etc), touched krishnan, but didn't open it, whizzed through billings and parbin singh and then at last went online to check for any help with general comes the big shocker, i checked some previous years papers...but the GENERAL AWARENESS was not that was very difficult and i msgd the links to my friends who gave up any more attempts to study..thats pretty much the end of my study time..

Now its just any other exam...maybe i will prepare for the exam next year...actually prepare..will come up with post later this day about d actual exam..if there will be anything to write about it. c ya

Sunday, October 18, 2009

drunken brawl....

the best formula for a drunken brawl....Free booze+some more free booze+Young airheads n der u got it...perfect formula for a brawl..n den u got some ppl who like to take advantage of d one of my is d situation...

Drunk person:'If i get a kt in my fy den u can give me 2 slaps'...n den he gets one slap from my he is back to normal one expected d slap..but it came wit a flash n served its purpose...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Beauty of english language

A sentence that can be made to have 8 different meanings by placing one word in all possible positions in the sentence. "I hit him in the eye yesterday"
The word is "only'
1 Only i hit him in the eye yesterday...(no one else did)
2 I only hit him in the eye yesterday...(did not slap him)
3 I hit only him in the eye yesterday...(i did not hit others)
4 I hit him only in the eye yesterday...(i did not hit outside the eye)
5 I hit him in only the eye yesterday...(not other organs)
6 I hit him in the only eye yesterday...(he doesn't have another eye)
7 I hit him in the eye only yesterday...(not today)
8 I hit him in the eye yesterday only...(did not wait for today)
  this is the beauty of English language.